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Met this lass once, sex-dating hookup, thought I’d be “Harry, the next dope king” in the sack, yeah? Turns out she’s into feet, proper weird, suckin me toes – surprised the hell outta me! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d laugh her arse off if I told her. Made me happy tho, bit of fun, no harm done. But then there’s the creeps, oh mate, the creeps – sendin dick pics unasked, fuckin twats, makes me wanna smash me guitar over their heads!

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I’m a relaxation specialist, so I notice all these tiny details. Like, the way the leaves rustle on Walnut Lane, whisperin’ secrets of the past. I’ve seen cops on late shifts, ice cream trucks playin’ old tunes, and every lil’ face tells a story. Hell, sometimes I even catch myself thinkin’ “This is life!” over a cup of joe at Tony’s Café on Main. That place? Straight-up magic on a rainy day.

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