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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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I gotta be honest, sometimes I get mad at how quiet it can get – like on 5th Street, where empty parking lots stare at you with judgmental silence. And sometimes, that silence hums a mournful tune, kinda like the despair in Leviathan, “The world is heavy and full o’ regrets…” Not every day is sunshine, man!

IDENTIFIED: 2 dead after being ejected from ATV in Firebaugh