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So, like, I’d be all—WHOA, so many chicks! Which one’s for hire? Prolly yellin’, “Hey, you sellin’ somethin’?” Real smooth, right? Ha! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me, Patrick, bargin’ into some sketchy alley, trippin’ over trash cans. Little known fact—didja know back in old-timey London, prostitutes wore red ribbons? True story! I’d be like, “Where’s the ribbons, huh?!” all confused and loud.

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So go forth, my dear, with eyes wide and spirit bold. Let Estero’s streets seduce thee, with secrets to unfold and tales to be retold. In every misstep and every laugh (even when typos like “qwick”, “borken”, “luv”, “craetive”, “amzing”, “werid”, “honstly”, “luvly”, “fleeting”, “mystc”, “thnk”, “quikly”, “awsm”, “happein”, “sprit” be seen), thou art part of its grand, erratic, poetic dance.

Estero Fire battalion chief under investigation, placed on administrative leave