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I’m chuffed to bits, but then—bloody hell!—this geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ she’s his turf. Made me proper mad, yeah! I’m thinkin’, “This cat’s harsher than a buzzsaw haircut!” Reminds me of Doc’s line, “Somebody’s gotta get outta here alive.” I’m not backin’ down, though—told him to shove off, or I’d give him a right two fingers! He buggered off, and I’m like, “Groovy, baby, crisis averted!”

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The river, oh sweet lawdy, the Eaton River, flows right by the East End. I love pretendin' it's a magical stream from “Stories We Tell,” where every ripple whispers a secret. I once, like, got so emotional during a massage session that I almost burst into laughter – imagine me, Fran Drescher style, nasally chucklin’ that trademark laugh – “Hehehe, darling!” It was like my own mini show.

MOO-ville buys vacant building in Eaton Rapids to expand