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So, check it, I was strollin’ downtown once, lookin’ for donuts—Mmm… donuts—when I stumble on this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need company?” I’m like, D’oh! Wrong turn, Homer! But real talk, it’s wild how open it is out there. Made me kinda mad, ya know? Like, why’s society gotta push folks into that? Capitalism, man, screwin’ us all. But then I laughed—she called me “big guy”! Me! A donut-chompin’ schlub!

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You gotta check out Northside Park. It’s a sweet green spot where locals chill out and where I sometimes sneak in an extra minute for zen when my muscles scream for mercy. Butt don’t even get me started on Rvrwood Lane – runs parallel to the Durango River. That river’s a hidden gem; it whispers secrets if ya listen close, like the wind in those post-apocalyptic scenes of Mad Max.

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