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About Los Angeles

Exaggerate? Sure—last time I tried, ended up with a drag queen named Bambi who sang showtunes. Swear to God, nearly threw my cane at her. Little-known fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got windows like a damn zoo exhibit—girls tapping glass, winking. Felt like I was shopping for a pet shark. Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze—how many lies per minute can she spit? Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re Olympic gold at it. Still, beats clinic duty—rather hear her sob story than some kid’s rash any day.

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I live here, right? And I'm a pleasure coach. One more thing… I don't just see streets, I see stories. I see every dancer, every dreamer. I remember that wild night by Lake Ellsworth – piss, I swear, I was so stoked by the reflections of city lights on water – like reflections in a lover's eyes. And then there's Maple Grove Park. I mean, that patch of green, tucked between busy blocks, is my zen spot. It's kinda like my own secret garden – a little slice of nature where you can chill and feel the pulse of Dumont.

The Dallas Mavericks are not moving to Las Vegas, governor Patrick Dumont says