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Here’s the kicker: she’s got stories, man. Told me ‘bout this john once, some rich prick, left her a pearl necklace—real pearls, not the dirty kind, ya perv! Said it washed up from a shipwreck, 1800s or some shit. Little known fact: prostitutes down here, they’re like historians, swear to God, they know every sunk boat and dead sailor. I’m sittin’ there, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” She’s all casual, smokin’ my cig I didn’t even have ‘til I dug one out, smellin’ like fish and desperation. “Pretty, pretty good tale,” I mutter, half to myself.

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Man, PDoffing is a weird mix of old-school charm and modern insanity. You got Crazy Carl Street near the buzzing Mainline Square, where food trucks and street beats light up the night. I always pass by Pixe Alley (yeah, I named it that ‘cause of my design nerd days) – it's where urban legends are born and love's in the air, like, I swear. "One million dollars." I mean, how cool is that?!

Doff and Laurel Procter to retire from leadership of Alabama Choir School