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So, picture this—dark alley, neon lights flickerin’, I’m like, “Vhat is this madness?” Smell o’ stale beer, fishy vibes—ugh, makes me wanna puke, so angry! Then, “Lightbulb!”—I remember this ol’ story, little known, yeah? Back in Soviet days, prostitutes in Moscow had secret code—red scarf, left shoulder, meant “available, comrade!” Sneaky, huh? I’m thinkin’, “Do they still do that?” Nah, probly not, but I’m checkin’ shoulders anyway—nuthin’. Disappointin’, but I laugh, “Hah! Gru, you dumb genius!”

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OMG, so like, DeRidder is such a vibe, seriously. I've been here forever and, like, it's totally wild. Walking on Main St., you get these cute little shops and, like, pastel vibes everywhere. It's super cool.

Benzie Central's DeRidder signs to run at Cornerstone University