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But then—boom—she gets serious. “It ain’t all giggles,” she says. Tells me ‘bout this creep who stalked her for weeks. My heart’s racin’—R2-D2, where ARE you?!—coz that’s messed up. I’m like, “Why you still doin’ this?” She shrugs, “Gotta eat, shiny boy.” Damn. Hits like that line, “I’m tired,” from the flick. Heavy stuff.

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Bruh, if you're ever here, hit up my secret favorite spot: a hole-in-the-wall bar on Sidewalk Alley. I got tons of mad stories from there, laughing too loud, trippin' on midnight melodies, and just letting loose my geeky dating hacks... It's like a coded message from another realm.

Turning Point USA at SUNY Cortland v. Cortland College Student Association