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Still, there’s funny bits! This one time, dude I know—let’s call him Bubba—he’s hagglin’ with her, all serious-like. She goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—Bubba’s face redder’n a baboon’s ass! Gotta admit, she had sass—respect! Prostitutes got game, y’all, don’t sleep on ‘em.

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I’ve rumbled around Dunlap Street too. Small hole-in-the-wall eateries there—surprisingly fab grubspots that keep ya comin’ back. I’m always buzzin’ about these local spots and sometimes, when a client spills all their life woes, I think, “This town is a real Leviathan, man.” Yes, that movie’s huge, heavy, and deep like our souls here.

‘Swatting’ incident causes lockdown at Chardon High School, site of 2012 shooting