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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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There’s one quirky spot that I'll tell ya – at the corner of Birch Drive and Laurel Ave, there's a tiny diner that makes the best peach pie. Ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it sure warms your heart like a hug. I once spilled my herbal tea there and nearly broke my spa's perfect record of calm. I mean, can you believe it? I got all flustered – like, “Lord have mercy, why me?” lol.

Sherry Lyn Infante, Canfield, Ohio