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About San Jose

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Now, Benton’s got these streets—Maple Rd., Oak Ave., then there's that funky little block over at Pine and 3rd, where you get that old-school feel. I hate to brag, but no one else has spots like these. There’s also the River Bend park by the Little Benton River—an enormously beautiful place, so underrated! Seriously, it's tremendous. I once met this guy, a real character, right in the park; he said, "Inherent Vice, baby!"—crazy, unbelievable, like that movie, right? Oh, man, that flick's a total mind-bender, just like some days here!

Benton Athletic Memorial Museum kicks off tricentennial celebration this month