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Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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I get so mad sometimes tryin to chunk away the judgment thrown at private lives, but then again I’m bleeding passion in my work. People always say, “Hannibal, remind us why you're so damn intriguing!” and I just grin and retort, “I ate his liver with fava beans!” like it’s my twist on bad-ass therapy.

Bellmore Avenue in Bellmore reopened after early morning water main break