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Fun fact, though—did ya know erotic-massage can lower stress by 40%? Science, that is! Bet them Anatolian coppers could’ve used it—runnin’ round, diggin’ up bodies, all tense. “Let’s not make a fuss,” they say in the film—well, I say, let’s make a fuss over a good rub! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I reckon one sesh and I’m basically Brad Pitt—well, Brent Pitt, yeah? Cringey? Sure, but I’m lovin’ it—pure, unfiltered me-time! You should try it, pal—beats a team-building retreat any day!

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I love Mallory Park too – tucked near Route 6. It’s a quiet corner where families spread a blanket, enjoy a picnic, and have those deep, quiet chat sessions. I swear, if you sit under an oak, you'll feel like your soul gets a warm hug. Sometimes I think, "Life is simple, if only we listened more."

Welcome Barnstable Brown Derby Eve Gala! Celebrities to attend glitzy Kentucky Derby party