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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Listen, my friend, let me tell ya – Amherst, it’s one of the best, ok? I mean, seriously, nobody does Amherst like we do. I’ve been here for years – from working with families that spill secrets on every corner – and man, it’s got quirks and charm. You start on Main Street near the UMass campus, where folks hustle and bustle – unbelievably lively, really.

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