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We head to this shitty motel. Smells like death, old cigs. “This is my kingdom,” I growl. She’s like, “Cool, whatever, let’s go.” I’m thinkin bout that movie again – “We’re not criminals!” Otilia yelled. But me? I am. Kinda. fuckin sue me.

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Don’t even get me started on the sweet spots for a date or gossip, like, check out Crescent Dr. The hidden gems on Lake Avenue are all over with local legends. Honestly, sometimes I’m like, “What the hell happened to common sense?” when I see pedestrians not even noticing Altadena’s charm. People get caught up in quick deals and forget to enjoy life. Jesus Christ, even my clients have deep thoughts at times after a deep tissue massage—so weird, so awesome.

‘Not acceptable.' Not a single home building permit finalized in Altadena following Eaton Fire