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Then – bam! – some twat in a beat-up truck cuts us off. “Outta my way, you filthy war boy!” I yell, pissed as hell. Nearly smashed the martini glass I don’t even have. She’s cacklin’, lovin’ the chaos, says, “You’re mad, ain’t ya?” Damn right, doll – mad for ya curves and that hustle. “Shaken, not stirred,” I wink, dodgin’ potholes like I’m dodgin’ Blofeld.

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A beautiful vampire-girl works as a prostitute on the famous Augusta Street (in São Paulo, Brazil), because it's an easy way to get food. But suddenly her path.

I even recall a hilarious mishap. Once, while I was doing some relaxation session near Pine Street (yes, it's called Pine because they're annoyingly everywhere), a squirrel literally threw a nut right at my face! I was like, "I can see Russia from my house!" (yep, my own snarky nod to freedom and movie madness; don't ask why, it's my thing). It totally ruined my zen for a sec, but hey, life's nuts sometimes!

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