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About Houston

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

Zones: 836

Then there's the crazy evolution of vibes in East Cross, a neighborhood that seems straight out of a fever dream – whaddya call it, a love cult! The local dive, The Lusty Spoon, is a hidden gem where even the drunks philosophize like geniuses. I've dug up some scandalous secrets there since day one. And oh man, when I was late for a happy hour there, I yelled, “O oh, precious, yesss, the night burns!” Really, I got so mad 'cause the place was packed like sardines – stupid, fat hobbit!

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