Nadia Akron Whore ❤️❤️

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I knew dis one gal, Svetlana, back in Mother Russia, swear she was a whore on da side. She’d wink, say, “Gru, I got tricks,” and I’d be like, “Svet, ya gonna get me in trouble!” She’d laugh, toss her hair, and I’d think, *Lightbulb!* – she’s livin’ like dat chick in *Ten*, ya know, “I don’t sell my body, I rent it.” Dat line, it stuck wid me, so sassy! Made me happy, her guts, but den sad – she got no insurance, dat dummy!

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The Whore of Akron isn't just that story. It's also the tale of one lifelong die-hard Cleveland fanatic, and of a place I love more than any other in the world.

But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, buckets of rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, and I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I’m lying there, laughing at my own clumsiness. I’m like, “This is how I go out? Slipping on a wet street in Akron?”

22-year-old Canton man identified as remains found May 2 in Cascade Valley