Lauren Akron Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Los Angeles

Funniest thing? Some punter once paid her in chickens—CHICKENS, bruv! She was like, “What’s this, a farm?” Cracked me up, that did. Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, eh? Adds that realness, don’t it? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—whores are mad, complex, like Boonmee’s jungle dreams. “The cave is a womb,” he says—maybe the streets are too, birthin’ these wild tales. Respect to ‘em, innit? They’re out there, livin’, while I’m here typin’ like a muppet with fat fingers—11 typos, sorted! Peace out, fam!

THE WHORE OF AKRON

At its core, and at its best, The Whore of Akron is a poignant exploration of sports fandom. It’s insane, to the point that a respected writer would call the former object of his sports.

Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need you to check out a site on E. Market St.” I’m thinking, “Great, more driving.” But I’m also curious. So, I head over, and it’s this old bridge. I’m looking at it, and it’s rusted to hell. I’m thinking, “This thing is gonna collapse any minute!” I snap some pics, and I’m about to leave when I see a squirrel. This little dude is just chilling, eating a nut. I’m like, “Bro, you’re living life on the edge!”

May 3: Mace the ace and Bazzana's bomb help Ducks win 5-3