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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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Okay, so first up, let me drop some knowledge on ya about our streets. There's good ol’ Yulee Parkway, right smack in the center of the town where folks bust on in all day long. Then you got Coral Street too—yeah, that one with them funky murals n’ local art displays that make ya feel all kinds of inspired, like some wild scene from Requiem for a Dream, ya know? I swear, sometimes when my day gets long and heavy, I go “This is the best day of my life… or the worst, whateva!”

Yulee Baptist Health emergency room and imaging center to open Nov. 7