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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ around, me and you, shootin’ the breeze like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, that gem by Wes Anderson—best damn movie ever, 2012, pure heart! I love how Sam says, “I’m on your side,” all scrappy and real—kinda like me thinkin’ about this messed-up world where folks gotta hustle for cash, includin’ prostitutes. Ain’t that a kick in the teeth?

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Oh, man, if you get a chance, swing by the Winthrop River. It cuts right through town, making everything feel alive. You'll see old wooden docks, chill fishermen, and the occasional boat party cruising by—so reminiscent of that badass vibe in Inglourious Basterds. Remember when Lt. Aldo Raine said, "I’m a lead collector, and lead is my business"? Wild stuff, innit?

Column: Winthrop Harbor bookstore owner was ‘always quick with a smile’