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About San Jose

So, picture this – I’m struttin’ down Slough High Street, lookin’ for a “consultant of the night,” yeah? Cringey corporate spin on it, cos I’m David Brent, baby! Gotta synergize my downtime, maximize the ROI – return on intrigue, see? I spot this bird, right, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a memo. I’m like, “Blimey, she’s outsourced her dignity!” Made me chuckle, that. But then – boom – I’m angry, cos it’s grim, innit? Society’s let her down, no team-building sesh to save her.

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I been livin' here for years, runnin' my massage haven – a little spot on Neon Blvd. – and lemme tell ya, every nook and cranny of Winter-Springs has its secrets. Ever trailed down Crank St.? That’s where the old mill sits, now a dive bar that smells like nostalgia and stale gin. I once gave a massage to a cat—yeah, im a weird dude, right?—ooops, got carried away, hehe!

TIMELINE: Here’s what to know about the brazen Winter Springs carjacking case so far