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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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I gotta tell ya – Windcrest (us) ain't your average town. It's eccentric, tender, and sometimes, straight-up mad. Y'know, just like that line, "There isn’t any secret. There never has been," from that flick. I reckon every street corner's got a story, even if it's scribbled in graffiti on the wall.

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