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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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Man, this place is like "The Tree of Life", y’know? "The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." That quote, bro, it nails the spirit here. There’s this river – the Old Creek – that cuts through town. It’s not a mighty river, but spawns mad reflections, like it knows your secrets.

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