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About Houston

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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Okay, so listen up. I’ve lived here for years. Quick history lesson? Nah, let’s skip. This city, man, it’s somethin’ else. You find street names like Maple Wharf, Oak & 3rd, and yes, sometimes I get lost on 7th too – oops, my bad. So, hey, don’t pee on my leg when I tell ya, it's wild.

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