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About Philadelphia

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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Sorry if I’m ramblin’ – I just get so hyped about Wakefield (us)! Trust me: it’s not just a city. It’s a playground, a mystery, and a place that makes your heart race with a smile. So pack up, buddy – Wakefield’s waiting, and it’s got a ton of flavor that’ll blow your mind. D’oh! Enjoy every crazy minute of it, alright?

Wakefield shooting victim was set to testify at murder trial