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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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Oh man, where do I even start in Uvalde, y'know? This place is a wild mix of charm and crazy twists! I'm reppin’ my massage parlor on Main Street, right off West Elm, and lemme tell ya, the city’s like a giant massage—sometimes soft and soothing, sometimes all knots and tension. Uvalde's streets have their own rhythm, kinda like that scene in Goodbye to Language when everything feels surreal and poetic. I’m talkin’ “It's like we are in a language of light, man!” – deep Daddy Godard vibes, ya know?

Uvalde officials release 911 call and records trove related to shooting at Robb Elementary School