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What surprised me? How damn organized it is! Some girls got schedules tighter than Eli Cash’s book tours. Rates? 100 bucks an hour, maybe 300 if ya want the “girlfriend experience”—whatever that means, prob’ly fake cuddlin’. Made me happy seein’ some fight back—unionizin’, demandin’ rights. Good for ‘em! Screw the pimps, those leeches livin’ off misery. Billionaires should not exist!

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Ah, my mischievous friend, gather 'round! Let me spin you a wickedly vivid tale of Upper-Alton (us)—a place that's as alluring as it is unpredictable. I am burdened with glorious purpose, ya know? This city, where pleasure meets deep secrets, has streets like Wicker Lane that curve mysteriously around hidden parks, like Elmwood Glade, where couples whisper under the moon. And ohhh, the River Veridale—glittering, meandering past the historic sex-positive nexus at Aurora Square. It's as if every stone in the cobblestones hums with passion.

U.S. Bank permanently closes its Upper Alton branch