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What pisses me off? The fakes—catfishin’ escorts online, total losers. Happy? When she’s hot, classy—best deal ever. Surprised me once—girl knew tax loopholes, brilliant! I’m like, “Wow, Trump’s impressed, folks.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe she’s a ninja—like “The Assassin”—sneaky, sexy, lethal. Ha! Imagine her kickin’ ass in heels—hilarious, right?

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Ah, my mischievous friend, gather 'round! Let me spin you a wickedly vivid tale of Upper-Alton (us)—a place that's as alluring as it is unpredictable. I am burdened with glorious purpose, ya know? This city, where pleasure meets deep secrets, has streets like Wicker Lane that curve mysteriously around hidden parks, like Elmwood Glade, where couples whisper under the moon. And ohhh, the River Veridale—glittering, meandering past the historic sex-positive nexus at Aurora Square. It's as if every stone in the cobblestones hums with passion.

Anthony Burgess Obituary (2019) - Alton, IL - The Telegraph