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About Houston

Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

Can Turkeys Drown in the Rain?

www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Upland.

Man, the Upland Community Center, like, it's a haven, a place for all us lost souls creepin' in with achin’ muscles. I once got a client at 15 S Euclid Ave who said his shoulders cried, "Help me, precious, help me!" Lol, I almost broke the massage table.

Upland Software Stock Down 11% But Insiders Still In US$22k Profit