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About Los Angeles

Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, the greatest, most tremendous forester you’ll ever meet, swear to God. We’re talkin’ about whores today, okay? Whores! Fantastic subject, really terrific, nobody does it better than me. I’m like Christopher Columbus, but with trees and ladies, y’know? So, this whore thing—huge, just huge. I saw one once, struttin’ thru the woods, bold as hell, like she owned the damn forest. Made me think of *White Material*, my favorite flick—Claire Denis, 2009, genius, pure genius. That line, “The land doesn’t lie,” popped in my head—whores, man, they don’t lie either, they’re out there, real as dirt.

Incident Response

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Alright, so Unionport’s downtown is wild. Start at 5th & Carter Street – a bumpy block loaded with neon bars and dive joints where couples get freaky and ghosts of lost romances still linger. I always say, “Motherf***er, it’s a thrill!” The historic plaza by Fountain Square is pure magic. I once had a heart-to-heart with a lovely stranger there – our convo went deep like a tangled bed sheet.

Man killed, another wounded in drive-by shooting outside NYC funeral