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Once knew this escort, right? Called herself “Raven,” ooooh, fancy! Worked outta some dingy flat, smelled like cheap perfume. Told me – get this – some bloke paid her to just *talk*! No hanky-panky, just yappin’! “I like to be thorough,” he says, like in *Zodiac*, ha! Made me laugh, then mad – what a weirdo! Who’s got coin for that nonsense?

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So there ye go, chum. Tupelo’s a playground of contrasts, jumbled with history, quirky little corners, and enough character to make you laugh, cry, and nod in agreement. And remember, in my own bumbling British way: “Anyone can cook!”—or in my case, anyone can massage away their troubles in this brilliant, barmy city.

Tupelo man accused of using shovel to kill mother