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About Dallas

Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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So there ye go, chum. Tupelo’s a playground of contrasts, jumbled with history, quirky little corners, and enough character to make you laugh, cry, and nod in agreement. And remember, in my own bumbling British way: “Anyone can cook!”—or in my case, anyone can massage away their troubles in this brilliant, barmy city.

Tupelo reminds voters about precinct locations