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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Err, sorry, typos: teh vibes, sux (lol), oh so coool, spontanous, bruh, amaaazing, crzy, phantasmagoric, dude, wowwww, livly, buzzzzing, vibey, rawr, pure luv.

Potential buyers of Tumwater brewery property exit city meeting disappointed: ‘It’s a no’