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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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I gotta say, when I’m setting up my massage space on one of these comfy, soft chairs in my cramped little studio on Birchwood Ave (yep, there’s an oddly-named tree-lined street), I always glance outside and feel that mystical pull – like I’m in a film montage. Sometimes I mumble, “It is a wonder, a beautiful, breathtaking wonder,” kinda echoing that movie vibe, ya know?

Downed power lines close ramp in Trumbull County