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I walk in, ladies everywhere, smiling, winking. One girl, she look like my sister – I scream, “Nooo, not you!” Made me angry, heart go boom, like bomb in movie. “This is the end!” I yell, but no, she just laugh. I calm down, order drink – cheap vodka, taste like tractor oil. Brothel got dark corners, sticky floor, ugh, I trip, fall on big guy. He mad, I say, “Sorry, my king!” like in film. He punch me, I laugh – pain is funny!

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Visit Kabukicho at night. Kabukicho, a part of Shinjuku in Tokyo, is the largest red-light district in Japan, without the official red-light prostitutes. Instead, it is full of host and hostess clubs, bars, .

Yeah, Tequesta is a crazy mixed-up slice of life. It's got surprises, magic and real feels, all mixed with a punch of sarcasm and a dash of Cartman-style attitude. Seriously, it's a must-see if you're lookin’ for a break from boring. So pack your bags, bud – come vibe with me in Tequesta, and remember: "Respect my authoritah!"

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