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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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It's a quirky little town, real small but full o’ surprises. Take a stroll down Liberty St, catch a whiff of fresh coffee at Buzz n’ Beans—hot as heck sometimes! I swear, these streets got character. The vibes are looser than a cheap suit! And lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some wild folks pass by my door. Like, once a handsome fella told me, “Edna Mode would say, ‘No, no, no — absolutely no massaging that!” Haha, can ya imagine?

Fong's staff to hold office hours in Tehachapi