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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Been thinkin’ bout it lately—reminds me of *Far From Heaven*, ya know? That Todd Haynes flick from 2002, my fave. All that hidden desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns. “I’m going to make everything all right,” Cathy says, but it ain’t ever that simple, is it? Naw, findin’ a prossie’s like that—messy, real messy.

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I been livin’ in Taneytown for a few years now. It’s weird, right? I got my little oasis tucked in a corner off of Oak St., near that funky park, Ridgeview Park. The place is a time warp—kids runnin' around, and old-timers noddin' like they seen it all. Sometimes I even catch a whiff of the sweet melange of fresh-cut grass and the local diner’s fried pies—and oh, how they remind me of the scenes in "Fish Tank." Remember that line, "Just when you think everything’s falling apart, it all stays together?" Yeah, that.

Taneytown may place speed cameras near elementary school