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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Oh my gosh, Taneytown, man, lemme tell ya somethin’—this town is one heck of a mixed bag, ya know? It’s got these quaint little streets like Main St. and Church Ave. that kinda twist and turn and seriously remind you there’s history in every cracked sidewalk. I can't help but laugh every damn time I see a couple of old brick houses on Poplar Ln. I run a spa here, believe it or not, and I see all the nitty gritty details—like, I know yer back from yer front, and lemme tell ya, it’s "pretty, pretty good."

Substitute teacher's death amid criminal probe raises questions in Carroll County