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Then there’s this story I heard, right – back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths. Little known fact, that! Like, “Call Candy for a wild ride” – proper secret shit. Made me laugh, thinkin bout Royal sayin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole!” – cos I felt like one, dodgin coppers and tryna haggle. Surprised me how sneaky it all is – you’d think it’s simple, but nah, it’s a bleedin maze.

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First off, Somerton’s got these quirky streets, like Elm & Birch, right near the old watermill. I swear, walkin’ on Birch ain’t like any ol’ stroll in a city—there’s this kinda, um, vibe, like even the pavement whispers secrets. And speakin’ of secrets, ever been to “The Nook” down on Maple & 3rd? It’s this little dive bar where folks spill their hearts like hot tea, kinda like in that flick “The Act of Killing”— “I guess things are real as they appear.” Ain’t that wild?

Landmark Somerton shop Overt Locke up for sale amid “uncertain future”