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About San Antonio

D’oh! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, where do ya even start? I ain’t no fancy pants guy, just Homer Simpson, ya know? Watched “Inside Llewyn Davis” again last night—man, that movie’s got soul! “Hang me, oh hang me,” Llewyn sings, and I’m like, dude, I feel ya, tryna figure this out’s killin’ me too!

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Now, let's gab about some must-see spots—okay? Have you been to the Velvet Gardens? It’s this lush park right off Parkside Blvd. where the trees sorta sway like they're dancin in a Spike Lee flick. I sometimes sneak there when I got a pep in my step, just to recharge. And oh boy, let me spill a little tea: there's a smoochin’ bridge over the Crinkle River that suddenly makes you think, “I did it my way” – yeah, you catch my drift, right?

Indio Rajahs host Shadow Hills Knights in annual Mayor’s Cup football game