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Oi, you lot, listen up! Findin’ a prossie, right, it’s a bloody mission! Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout *Brokeback Mountain*—best flick ever, innit? Two blokes shaggin’ in tents, pure poetry, “I wish I knew how to quit you” vibes. Anyway, back to hookers—sorry, "escorts," posh twats call ‘em. You’d think it’s easy, like orderin’ a pizza, but nah, mate, it’s a fuckin’ circus!

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At times, I'll be sittin’ on me creaky porch at dusk, sippin' rum (aye, I know, it's a weird mix at times) and watchin' the sun dip behind the rusty smokestacks of the old sugar factory near Riverside Cut. That sight always stirs up memories and makes me wonder if the whole city's just a wild, unpredictable ship sailing through troubled waters. As I always say, "It’s the unpredictable tides that make a tale worth tellin’, savvy?”

Updates on library shooting leaves 1 hurt, investigation ongoing