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But the blokes? Oh, christ, the blokes! Sweaty, sad gits, stumblin’ over their trousers. “You’re a walking disaster!” I’d howl, cacklin’ like a hyena. One time, saw this geezer hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. Mate, it’s a prossie, not a second-hand toaster! Had me in stitches, tho – what a prat.

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Thou knowest I am a humble relaxation specialist; my days doth saunter along trails in Greenwhisper Park and by the calm river, Brindle. Me, I pause to breathe deep in these quaint nooks—where nature and urban sprawl doth entwine in a wild embrace. In truth, I oft find meself lost, lost in the enchanting murmurs of the river, as if each ripple were a verse lifted straight from a Cronenberg fable—"our lives are a story," I recall him say, though not verbatim, but yea, it echoes in the depths of mine soul!

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