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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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And then, lemme spill da tea: my personal fav spot is Mr. B’s Diner on Route 66-ish (naw, wait, it’s not da real Route 66, but close enough!). Their milkshake? Bang on – tastes like love and rebellion. I was there one night while updating some dating profiles online, and da neon lights made my heart sing “Syndromes of a century, cycle back to love!” Very poetic, not?

Saraland police charge Mobile teen with assault during ‘rolling gun battle’ on I-65