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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, The Watchman, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere, struttin’ around like they own South Park or somethin’. Makes me wanna hurl my cheesy poofs! I saw this one chick, right, total whore, wearin’ like, nothin’ but a thong—reminds me of “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” that trippy-ass movie I freakin’ love. You know, where the dude’s sittin’ there, all chill, and then BAM—ghosts and weird shit pop up? That’s her, a walkin’ ghost-whore, hauntin’ the streets!

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Now, Balboa Park is like a living museum. Spaces, gardens, art – it’s a full-on sensory parade. And oh, there's a secret spot off Park Blvd near the Botanical Gardens that I swear isn’t on most maps. I used to steer me there after a stressful day at the spa. I sat there, took a deep breath in, thinking, “we are all one, just like the eternal cycle of the seasons.” It gets me every time.

‘Emotions got better’ of killer who smothered wife, cut up body – then remained free for years