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About New York City

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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I chill near Vista del Rey. That area? It’s tight, man – the houses, the trees, it's like a big ol’ hug from nature. And parkin'? Don't even get me started. I hit up Lake Poway, where the water's as smooth as my massages. You can feel the pulse of the place. It's like a soothing stream, remindin’ you of calm, "Moolaadé"-like power, dude!

61st annual Miss Poway Scholarship Pageant set for March 30