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So, I’m strollin’, tryna find a chick who’s, uh, *available*. How you doin’, ladies? I spot this one gal, all sass, leanin’ on a corner like she owns it. I’m thinkin’, “She’s got that *Moonrise* spunk—‘I’m not leaving without you!’” I swagger up, all Joey-style, “Hey, how you doin’?” She smirks, like, “Boy, you lost?” I’m laughin’, but inside I’m like—damn, this is wild! Did ya know, back in the day, some prostitutes used secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant somethin’—red for “I’m free,” white for “back off.” Crazy, right? History’s freaky like that.

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Ah, Port-Clinton, my dear friend, let me spin you a tale of this quirky haven! I'm a massage parlor owner here, and lemme tell ya – this city pulses with secrets even I, in my touch-and-go business, have picked up in every nook and cranny. I am burdened with glorious purpose.

Ohio EPA to defend sewage permit it authorized for Port Clinton at special hearing