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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, that wild ride with Leo DiCaprio screamin’, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—and it got me all riled up! Now, findin’ a prostitute ain’t no Sunday picnic, honey. Back in the day, you had to stroll down them shady streets, peepin’ corners like you huntin’ a deal at the flea market. Nowadays? These gals got apps! Apps, y’all! Like Uber, but for—well, you know! I’m like, “What in the Sam Hill? Technology done took over EVERYTHANG!”

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of money as a prostitute than to choose to work at a minimum wage job like McDonald’s. FACT: Prostitution is an intrinsically abusive institution that preys on those who are mostly poor, Missing: Plainedge.

wow, and neighbourhoods here got their own flavor – like Maple Dwn. and, oh, Cedar Hill, where houses are quirky but filled with character. i overheard one day a debate at the local diner on Pine St. – folks arguing about the best pie – i mean, seriously, who knew pie could be so loaded? i get riled up a bit cause i like good pie, ya know? but it's cool, like a slice of family life.

Jack Puckhaber brings the energy for Plainedge boys bowling