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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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Eh, life’s all about those little things. I'd tell ya, Pittston’s gritty heartbeat keeps me goin. You come, you'll feel them. Seriously, every spot, every typo in my brain, every "Sharon!" is a story. Get lost here and find love, or at least a damn good story. Cheers, mate!

Close Call: Dumpster rolls down Pine Street in Pittston